Get Your Condoms and Beer Here - Arborfest Review

Hi! I'm Blog. I report all the happenings for the two fleshbags that created me. I don't get out much myself, so I'm pretty reliant on second-hand information from the aforementioned fleshbags for any juicy news I post. I asked the chubby fleshbag if I could interview him for a piece I wanted to write about last night's 10th Annual Arborfest. He agreed to share his thoughts with me as long as I refrained from innuendo, snarkiness, perversion and torturous grammar in my reporting. I readily agreed, of course. What a sucker.

Blog: So, fleshbag, tell me about Arborfest but don't bore the shit out of me.

Chubby Fleshbag: Uh...okay. Arborfest is a beer event put on as a fundraiser for Family Tree Clinic. It's actually a pretty great event. The $50 ticket is also a contribution to the organization. The event is a classy affair, without being pretentious. And the event, to all outward appearances, runs like clock-work; very well planned. They have a fine selection of local craft beer offerings, a smattering of wineries, ample food to enjoy, and music. Unlike many other beerfests, this one doesn't get over-crowded and the...

Blog: Booooring! Let's move on. Did you get yourself all blotto?

Chubby Fleshbag: Nah, but there were quite a few interesting beers. Most breweries don't roll out tons of special offerings for this event like they do at some other beerfests, but there were still plenty of solid, familiar beers and some newer, great beers.

• Rock Bottom had a very solid line-up, but the highlight was their vanilla-infused stout. The vanilla was balance just right so as to not overpower the beer itself and the aromatics were fantastic and improved as the beer warmed up.
• Bob at Great Waters was sharing Myna Bock which I really enjoyed. That's worth a trip to GW this weekend to get some more.
• Another beer that I found interesting was Vine Park's IPA. It's an all-Fuggles IPA, which gives it very different aromatics and flavor than most other IPAs I've had.
• But the hightlight of the night for me was Schell's Schmaltz's Alt aged in pinot barrels. I saw this beer aging at the brewery a few months ago while on a tour there and I've been itching to try it ever since. I love Schmaltz's Alt to begin with, so this was a treat for me. The pinot-barrel aging added a subtle aroma to the beer, more redolent of wine than of wood. The barrel's imparted a slightly sour flavor to the beer that was quite enjoyable.

Blog: Yeah, well, if you didn't get blotto and act like an ass, then I guess I just don't care. I live vicariously through you, you know. So, you need to start stepping up your game otherwise you need to find a new blog to hang out with; maybe one interested in gardening or talking about feelings.

Chubby Fleshbag: I think the fact that you live on the internet has corrupted you. You've been surfing too much pR0n and TMZ, haven't you?

Blog: Hellooooo! It IS the internet, you know.

Chubby Fleshbag: Touche.

Blog: Let's get into the dirt. Anything about the shin-dig annoy you?

Chubby Fleshbag: Honestly, not really. Last year the live music got a bit loud and the event planners trying to hush everyone in the middle of the event to present some stuff and that put me off. This year the music wasn't live, so the volume could be moderated better. It got a bit loud at one point, but they addressed that quickly. Overall, the event was very well done in my opinion.

Blog: Jesus, dude. I much prefer hearing your take on events when you've had too much to drink and your head is throbbing, hands are shaking and you're sweating like a whore in church. What else you got?

Chubby Fleshbag: Hee hee, a couple of gals working the Barley John's table had a cask explode through the bung hole. The wall behind them was sopping and they had a nice puddle of beer under the table. Unfortunately, the beer was a loss.

Had quite a few good and interesting conversations last night too. But none of them were inappropriate, so I guess you're not interested in hearing about them.

Blog: Correctamundo! Tell you what, fleshbag. Brewer's Bazaar is next weekend. Why don't you try harder at that event to get me something juicy that I can work with. Don't eat that day and bring a tazer with you or something.

Chubby Fleshbag: Well, I guess I could tell you about my Thursday night at the Twin's game. I didn't think I'd make it to Arborfest last night because of.........